1 : Diversions
There are ways of "getting back" at strangers, or -
less malevolently - pulling their legs a bit, whilst
keeping them at arm's length (a nice anatomical mixed-metaphor).
An obvious one is to use the dialect, and its
unique vocabulary, as a weapon : to make sure
that the visitor is confused.
One may confuse him, by this means, without trying . . .
One source of potentially serious confusion exists,
which is quite unintentional.
So please pay regard to the following examples :-
(a) Today is Monday 1st. Next Thursday is 11th.
The 4th is certainly the next Thursday
to occur . . . but is termed "This Thursday".
(b) Today is Friday 1st. Next Thursday is 7th,
because it falls into next week.
The only problem with all this (or next) is
whether the week starts on Sunday or Monday.
Similarly :-
Today is Friday 20th. Last Wednesday was 11th,
not the 18th.
2 : Reflections
For all the comings and goings, the indigenous
mood [ attitude ] remains isolationist.
If there aren't many foreigners (and particularly if you
won't pay noo regard-a them), then mistakes which
creep into the language (like whereas v. whereby)
tend never to be corrected.
This also points-up that they were
never properly taught in the first place.
Saving the best until last, we have the infamous
Norfolk equivalent of certificate : sustifica(te)
(not sustificairt : the last syllable is unaccented).
[ Is there a hang-up about matriculation as well? ]
Two other examples, noted by Skipper,
but not crossing my path in the Cii, are :
damnified (for indemnified) and fisherair(t)e
(for officiate). Both very nice indeed!.
Totally outside my ken is cubelow (for cupola).
Though I have a fair idea what one is,
they are hardly everyday items!.
A splendid anglicisation (not really a mistake, as such)
is dissables (from French deshabille) = underwear.
It is not only Norfolk people who make mistakes like
"adamnant" for adamant; or
"duberous" for dubious Skipper reckons that "paying no regard", when the
no is omitted, gives rise to a composite word thus :
Dorn'(t) peggar(t)er tha(t) lo(t).
3 : Perversions
Nothing serious, mind (Aylsham apart).
This is the only way to describe some of the odd things
done to words, which seem more like acts of sabotage,
rather than mistakes. We have seen that always not only loses two letters
(W and Y) in becoming ollust, but gains a final letter
contrary to all known predilections (i.e. hatred of
all ts, especially final ones).
The same is true of across (nowadays often
misspelt accross) which becomes acrorst.
This brings it into line with lost, frost, tossed, cost etc.
The general sound may be related to the alternative
(older?) words : athwart [ as in thwarted ] or athwast. A friend of mine, from nearby Easton, is very fond of
the longer version of however : howsome-ever.
It seems to command extra attention
at the start of a sentence.
To hamper, in Norfolk, is to damage :
true, but a bit too specific?
It is my assertion that a few words, which depart
capriciously from the standard, are "correct"
simply because they pre-date our familiar ones.
This is certainly true of the past-tenses already noted
(shew, writ etc.).
The word spread is one that started this train of thought,
as I was well aware that - in this County - it does not
rhyme with bread.
(But head doesn't help = hid).
Now that I think of it, I have heard breed for bread;
but spreed is the one which is much more common. My point is that, centuries ago, the first vowel was
probably modified (hardened) by the second (a).
(Else why bother with the second? - bread and bred
have very different contexts).
It may (unhelpfully) remind us of words like
bear and tear, which go almost to the other extreme;
but how about teat ?, which - as all Sun readers
will know - has followed the hid (or vice versa);
or neat, treat, beat etc.
Given the good old d-to-t "shift", I rest my case.
If spread is too contentious, try the (obviously Dutch)
alternative which we learnt (learned?) when making
our glorious messes as children :
Splaar tha(t) all oover!.
Similarly, slarred is daubed.
4 : Conversions
Norfolk dialect practitioners will shoe-horn a word,
into an altogether different usage niche, when they :-
(a) feel like it OR
(b) don't seem to have heard of the word elsewhere.
A good example of the latter is the non-use of
unless and its replacement by without (which
latter still retains its other purposes).
It's not a bad fit (even if the coat is):- 1). E 'oon(t) goo withou(t) 'is coo(t)
2). E 'oon(t) goo withou(t) Oi giv'm 'is coo(t).
To attempt something is to imatair(t)e to do it [ imitate ].
Is there a real or fictional person, who has done
such a thing many times before, and who offers
a good example?
Wal, maybe there is and maybe there isn't.
Gain, becoming an adjective, means
handy or advantageous. Something funny is either -
- Amusing (sorry, no word here?!?)
- so try woo(t) mairk me laugh;
and, for extremely funny, Oi ha(tt)a laugh, bor!
Also see golder.
OR
- Suspicious, for which we have a Rum One.
(Thass a rummun, perhaps plus whoolly
- immediately after the Thass).
A strange situation is summed-up as :-
Thass a rum owl jarb, inta Booy?
(see job)
Funny itself is therefore freed-up to be applied,
rather like master and masterpiece, to remarkable
objects or occurrences.
Funny-peculiar, without the element of suspicion??.
Thass a funny ow'd frorst ou(t) there! Proper has its meaning changed, to :-
obvious or undoubted, as in Thass proper daft! or
Oi gan 'im a proper good hoidin.
^Top^
5 : Inventions
Conversions give way to the occasional invention.
A Norfolk agreement (happily not legal) can involve :-
Wal, Oi say-a 'im, Oi say,
Oi'm whoolly in agreeance with tha(t).
Norfolk also claims to have invented the Goes Under
(guzunder) for the humble chamber-pot.Did we invent disimprove i.e. to weaken or deteriorate?
A fascinating item is the heater-piece at a Y-junction,
as noted by Mardle. You and I would call it a (grass) triangle.
Apparently, triangular lump(s) of iron were heated
in the fire and, although therefore dirty, enabled
ironing of clothes via a hollow (also iron) container.
The Victorian originals (esp. the containers)
are now museum-pieces.
Whilst on the subject of flat-irons, they were usually
called plain flats in Norwich. This is despite that,
everywhere else in the country, they are places to live.
Evidently, apart from bungalows, it was virtually
unknown - until quite recent times - for houses not to
have both stories, or all three, devoted to one set of
occupants i.e. a family.
In Niceties we introduced one of Norfolk's
most famous inventions, the verb to tricalair(t).
Yure tricalair(t)ed tha(t) up a trea(t),
blarst if you hen'(t)!
One Mr. Bramah invented the water-powered
Bramah Press, the might of which staggered his contemporaries.
The Bramah long-remembered in Norwich is more
likely to have been Joe Bramah : water engineer at
New Mills and responsible for the Chapelfield
Reservoir, opened in 1883.
So, if master and masterpiece won't suffice,
we say - Thass a Bramah!!
6 : I Say, I Say
There seems to be a paucity of interesting "sayings",
for such a large and (hitherto) heavily-populated area.
Well, repeatable ones.... unlike those listed elsewhere.
If I am typical of my breed (Lawk's a-maassy!*),
it is because of a dire lack of any kind of imagination
(see Long Dog!).
On the other hand, it may simply be another result of
my being cut-off from rural life, and pigs wallowing
in harvest fields etc.
The above expression* of alarm (Lord have Mercy),
is one of the items culled from my Gran's
days "in service" at a country mansion.
Her favourite dictum (which gains nothing
in translation) :-
Make spare of plenty, and there'll
never come a scarcity.
A pity that most post-war ("featherbedded")
farmers seem to have forgotten it . . .
Her experience of rural life, with its manifold
uncertainties (usually weather-related) is
summed-up in the saying :
What is undone is very uncertain [1]
The many hardships life offered
were to be resolutely overcome with : -
A li(tt)le pairtience an' wa(t)er-grurl.
I suspect a very great proportion of the former;
and a high proportion of water in the gruel !.
A furious dispute between neighbours/friends
was often described as being : Hell over the baulk..
This refers to actual boundary disputes - see Farming.
An indeterminate wait is the best part of some time.
Most of the other expressions coming from
that source were earthy indeed. They were the
outward manifestation of what is known as a
cloacal sense-of-humour.
See separate notes - if you dare !.
Her most common (in both senses) was a phrase,
used in much of the U.K., concerning the dire
results of grasping the wrong end of the stick.
[1] This applies, for example, to Norwich City F.C. -
who concede a goal in the umpteenth minute of
"time added-on".
The Club's home ground is in Carra Rud.
(Carrow Road - vide the "mid-u" sound).
7 : Say Different
Some re-working of sayings, from
other parts of the Country, does occur.
The ...fish, fowl and good red herring saying
would seem tailor-made for Norfolk; yet we
replace it with :- Nayther he, she, na yi(t) the ow'd woman.
Perhaps it's because we know that herring are
"silver darlings", NOT red!.
Sadly the yi(t) had gone, by the time I grew-up
in the City; and the sound of nayther replaced by neither.
Incidentally, it is not on this slim evidence,
alone, that I base my assertion that a mawther is
a young or tolerably youngish woman (gal).
Continued . . .
| |
7. (contd.)
We know a lot about barrels, hence -
Spare at the spigot and Waste at the bunghole
is a good alternative for Penny wise and Pound foolish.
Make do and Mend, though a whole
way of life in Norfolk, is replaced by :-
If tha(t) 'oon(t) puddin' tha(t)'ll froise [ fry ]. "Two short planks" are omitted, in favour of -
(a) wooden as a pump OR thick as a hedge;
also (b) like two boards clapped together
The latter case means a very thin person
(not a "thick" one).
Unkempt persons look as if they have been -
dragged through a hedge backwards; but this
standard expression is modified in Norfolk to . . .
through a bush faggot.
Somebody who has been "conned", foolishly parted
from [ some of ] his money, is not further humiliated by
insults (to his face). Rather he is referred-back to the
dealer (higgler) who got the best of the bargain :- Oi reckon he see [saw ] you a-comin',
owl par(t)ner!
He may admit to his foolishness by saying :
En't Oi an ow'd sawney?!
Clearly he should have higgled (bargained
or argued, as in haggle) to more effect . . .
A dealer can also be a huxter or huxterer. (hustler?). Terse phrases abound in Norfolk which, by our own
standards of brevity, probably qualify as "sayings" e.g.
Tha(t) all depend ; lood-a squi(t) ;
keep you a-troshin'; hold you hard;
moi haar(t) aloive!
A short, but mysterious phrase is : Tha(t) goo ta show.
This is stated, after a certain event or discovery, in a
wise, meaningful and serious manner; but what it goes
to show is very often left unspecified.
8 : More Insults
Thin "outgrown" youths may be said to be :
run up-a legs.
The Norwich alternative -
Like a long string of pump-water
seems to be derived from part of a rural expression :
Up and down straight, like a yard of pump-water.
- for integrity. (well removed in meaning, however . . .)Slummockin' gri(t) mawthers need no further comment;
but a bald man has a head -
Like a bladder of lard.
With hair, he may be Grey as a Dow [ dove ]. Political correctness is a new-fangled notion in
this County; so a person considered even more
stupid, than other available descriptions can cater for,
may . . .wan(t) gittin' oover agin.
(That is to say, needs begetting again, reborn).
He might also be described as numb-chance, as -
(when appearing "lost" and vacantly inactive) :-
Lookin' loike numb-chance in a saw-pi(t) (dangerous!!)
He may loike [ enjoy ] 'is gairp-seed (gape-seed)
i.e. may spend long periods standing and staring.
Gape itself is normally pronounced gawp.
A pompous speaker will be said to
Ha and hacker in his talk.
[ Note : not speech - which is reserved for an oration ].
Mardle also gives the variant hukker for stutter.
No doubt theatrical pauses give much the same effect . . .
Hukker can also be used for complaining
(loudly?); similar to heckle?.
If he/she merely lacks civility and culture they were :
brought-up on the end of a hog-line. The recipient of insults might complain :
He called me from a pig to a dog!.
The following dictum was intended to help
the rude and uncivil to mend their ways :-
You'll catch more flies with a spoonful of honey
than a gallon of vinegar (Say winegar).
What Skipper calls caghanded, and Mardle - couch
(left-handed or clumsy ) [1] was, in my boyhood
family (50% left-handed), called cackhanded. Clumsiness seems always to have had a poor
reception in Norfolk, to judge by the available words.
Lummox is a clumsy or ungainly person,
who may also be described as :
bumble-foo(t)ed, fumble-fisted, horflin(g)
(clumsy movement) and ungain [ ungainly ].
A large and unwieldy object (a youth?!)
is hudderin' (adjective).
To buffle is to handle clumsily.
[1] definitely a non-PC term!.
9 : Judgements
Other, more full-blown, character
assessments (assassinations?) include:-
Idleness : As oidle as Halls's dorg, woo(t) doid
'cause tha(t) wooz too lairzy ter ea(t).Over-eagerness : Loike Farmer Cubitt's calf,
as tro(tt)ed t'ree moile-a suck a BULL. Thriftiness : Ea(t) their brown bread faast,
and whoi(t) ar(t)erwards. Pretensions to holiness : Sunday Saint, Weekday Devil.
(H)is religion is co-o-opyhowld [ copyhold ]
an' (h)e hen'(t) tairken-a up.
Morals : His conscience uz [ is ] maird-a
stretchin' lather [ leather ]. Stupidly thoughtless : Gastless.
Remarks made by a person for whom we have
little regard are taken "from whence they come";
the longer rural expression being :-Oi'll tairk tha(t) fr'm whence tha(t) come,
as the booy say when the dickey kicked-um.
This is, of course, little short of payin' noo regard!.
The dickey (donkey) also features as an
add-on to the "short and sweet" cliche :
Short and sweet, like a dickey's gallop.
The opposite, rambling at length, is :- Gorn-on loike a pig in a harves(t) field!
When all the fun was over, my Gran would say -
Punch a-done dancin'
This is an obvious reference to kiddies'
entertainment, such as seen at the Village Fair or gant.
Serious adults (like us!) should note the sustained
preference for the past tense of the do verb
(has done), instead of has finished.
Gran would have been to Mattishall Gant
in her young days . . .
If an outcome is judged to be very disappointing,
the do verb is pressed into service yet again :-
When (h)e towld me, Oi woon't 'arf done! - which means I was very disappointed at
his news, and equally downcast as a result.
Minor setbacks can render one . . . a bi(t) done!
10 : Where Ignorance Is . . .
Well, not appreciated. This is despite the stereotype
of a "thick" straw-sucking yokel; based on the
"village-idiot" syndrome
(which did exist, of course; due to some in-breeding).
The reality is that of most local folk despising
ignorance and prizing learning, in much the same way
as they do in Scotland.
There are some sayings which help to "prove" it :-
Oddly, in Norwich we seem to have merged the
last two into . . . know A fr'm bull's foot.
Unfortunately it is only the reference to a
gable-end that makes any sense to me !
Knowledge pretensions are jumped-upon
with the usual vigour:-
E dorn'(t) know noo more abou(t) tha(t)
then a crow do abou(t) a Sunda.
Here go(t) noo more air [ ear ] for music then
Balls's bull, as dossed the fiddler oover the fence.
Of course, we can always fall back on the dismissive :
E talk a lood-a ow'd squi(t)!.General incompetence is also deprecated.
Muddle and confusion (buffle again) gives us
buffle-headed; cafflin' is hesitating; wi(tt)ery is weak.
To wander around aimlessly is sammuckin',
pruggin' or to shack; while to dawdle is to dingle.
11 : Gossip
Not the just rambling sort, this time.
Norfolk must have been hell for German spies in
WWII, as the locals (harking back to earlier invasions)
needed no telling that Careless Talk Costs Lives.
It is a rare job to get any information out of
(or indeed into?) a Norfolk person, with
his/her naturally suspicious nature :
Woo(t) d'yer wan(t)-a know tha(t) for??. See Story A
A blunt refusal may follow :
Oi aren'(t) a-gorn-a tal you all moi know.
(N. B. 'know' = noun)
He may well have decided to keep it squa(t) (secret).
He may warn against passing secrets
to a talkative person :
A dorg woo(t)'ll fetch'll carry! The benefit of the doubt is often allowed to women
given to much chattering (men never do that, of course):
A hen woo(t) dorn'(t) prair(t)e 'oon(t) lay.
In other words, a lively, talkative woman
is likely to be a better bet all-round. This brings me back to my Grandmother's roots; in a
community where energy and vivacity were not only
appreciated, but needed. Her expression Still an' ill,
was for the opposite, withdrawn, kind of "hen"
(or cock).
This phrase (not widely heard in the City) has all
the hallmarks of a true Norfolk saying : ultra-short,
a bit poetic, but not at all sweet.
Indeed, it was intended to be hurtful. On the other hand, to shout is to sharm or spawle;
and to brairze ou(t) (as in brazen) is to insist upon
one's point-of-view.
12 : Too True
Norfolk has a nice line in stating the obvious.
Mardle recites this perspective on history :-Then was then and now is now. It was not until I read his book that I realised that,
for most of my life, people around me had described
clean items (e.g. "Persil"-laundered sheets) thus :-
As white as white; or the threatening sky :
As black as black.
A little matter of omitting the . . . can be??
Knowing a person by sight-only is to
know him to see to;
whilst your casual acquaintance is known
to speak to.
[ N.B. This is a long way removed from
any invitation to come up ter moine. ]
The latter to (only) is pronounced normally :
tuh see tu.
As with many of Gran's sayings,
some other comparisons are less flattering. Norfolk probably has no monopoly on the description
of a mournful face : As long as a wet week.
A nice anti-clerical jibe is : As big as the parson's barn. Marital strife and breakup is not an exclusively modern
phenomenon, but - being rarer - did tend to invoke more
doom-laden comment from smug onlookers :- She'll suck sorra boi pairlfuls;
Here swallered shairm an' drank ar(t)er-a. Undue curiosity and unwanted interference
are taboo in Norfolk. Such a person will
have been described (in Gran's village) as
Wanting to know the "ins and outs"
of a duck's [
rectum ].
|