1 : Cosmopolitan (not the Mag.)
There has to be a down-side to being the
Centre of the Universe.
Especially since the creation of the
University of East Anglia,
there has been much immigration into the City.
This has been mirrored by influxes of pensioners
to the (mainly North) Norfolk area.
Very few of these newcomers are from places like
Newcastle, hence the demise of "bo-ats" and such.
Conversely, standardisation proceeds apace;
even some "Cockney" influence can be detected !.
A belated definition : Cockney = south of Ipswich.
Yet we can scarcely complain when "foreigners"
import their own accents, even languages.
This masterpiece is being word-processed precisely
because regional accents (or languages e.g. Cornish)
are threatened - to the point of extinction.
Standardisation, even globalisation,
has an inexorable momentum.
Since before my schooldays, teachers have tried
(largely unsuccessfully) to get their pupils to
"speak proper".
Immigration and especially the so-called "media"
(tally and rairdioo) have had more impact.
2 : Optional? - KNOW!
Just one complaint, though :
don't try to change Norfolk things !.
Presenters (what happened to announcers?) on the
said (local) media - shunning research - usually
decide for themselves how to handle place-names.
The vagaries of Standard English are just as
wild and whacky as in the local dialect.
We have already noted that do = due, some = sum;
and that look and pool are very different . . .
The boon (as in book) of contention here is OW.
The fact that row [or bow, sow] comprises two
different words; or that low does not rhyme with
growl, does not imply optional status.
On the contrary, it is essential to stick to what
you mean or what you know, in any given context.
Hence Sprowston and Trowse, to name but two,
must not be rendered with an open vowel sound;
but with the sound of low or grow.
End of Story.
Special cases (e.g. Haisbro, Wyndham, Stukey)
are there to be learnt (learned?) and mastered,
not read parrot-fashion from a script, map or road-sign.
Ignorance is no excuse : so shape-up media-persons !!.
Mardle points out that various kinds of bowling,
in sport, are pronounced with the open sound;
hence (when plural) resembling the word bowels
[but compressed into one syllable]. A gardener's trowel keeps that open sound but,
effectively losing the w, becomes trarl.
My uncle could not possibly be the only person
to call a towel a turl, instead of the more usual : tarl.
This has been confirmed to me as a Norwich pronunciation.
3 : Do Different - Do Wrong
To even things up, let us admit to some of Norfolk's
errors. Presumably through sheer laziness we
over-abbreviate a word like difference down to diffus.
It is plainly wrong to use whereby to mean whereas :
Oi (h)ad a green boik, whereby (h)e (h)ad a red one
- thass the diffus.
Nor is it particularly clever to ignore the simple word
teach; and force learn into a transitive as well as
intransitive mode : Tha'll larn 'im.
On the other hand, it is futile to poke fun at
differences which possess their own rationale.
There is nothing wrong with :
Oi shew (h)im (h)ow tha(t) grew;
or else you have "I showed him how it growed".
You pays yer money . . .
Unique (archaic) past tenses are a feature,
not a fault, of the dialect. Norfolk people,
who have written something, say they writ it,
not wrote it. And why not, Barry?
Other examples are : brung (brought); he(t) (heated);
rid (rode);
driv (drove); swum (swam); sew (pron. as
sue = sowed); hew (hoed); ewe (owed); gan or gonned
(gave); seft (saved); len(t) (leaned); fri(t) (frightened);
skun(t) (skinned) - this last word being much used,
in my youth, to denote an impecunious state
(skint, in the South).
Some potential confusion surrounds
the past-tense of shut, which is she(t).
There's probably not too much wrong with
stressing the last, very unexpected, syllable in - They done-a accordin'lie
(They did it accordingly); but one cannot defend the dodgy grammar in -
Accordin'lie a-'im, thass . . .
The above examples
[note the successive meanings of a = it & to resp.],
whilst again involving changed vowel-sounds, take our
dialect survey to the thresholds of syntax and grammar.
Hold you hard, Bor !.
4 : Double Negatives
We can deal with these quite expeditiously.
With so much of the Dutch influence on Norfolk
speech, these are de rigeur. The words any and
anything are never used in a negative statement :-
Oi dorn(t) know naathin ;
Oi dorn(t) wan(t) noon ;
Oi in(t) navver etc. etc. It must be emphasised that this failing spreads very
much wider than our favourite County. It is an endemic
problem, remaining in the hands of the teaching
profession and the National Curriculum.
Norfolk speech will pack-in more than two negatives,
if any special emphasis is needed. Mardle quotes the
village postman, trying to rid himself of a child's attentions :-
Oi 'en(t) go(t) naathin' fer noobra,
no(t) today Oi hen'(t). [score = 5]
Skipper, on a highly dissatisfied customer:
Thass the waast-a [worst of] this 'air plairce :
there en(t) navver noobaardy ter (h)alp noobaardy
wi' naathin' !!
5 : Do Something
The imperative form has two important features:-
(a) The use and positioning of you;
(b) The dominance of the do verb.
Norfolk would regard as impersonal (and brusque),
therefore rude, the command - "Go to the shop".
Amelioration is usually achieved by adding
"would you?";
but there is the modest Norfolk alternative :
Goo you-a the sho-o-op.
Under (b) the instruction gets tautological,
with the you movingto join the dominant verb -
Do you goo-a the sho-o-op.
The latter form confuses outsiders beyond
all confusion, as they deem it to be a question!.
Perhaps a more obvious command would be :
Do you tha(t) wo-o-oshin'-up; but there is
no guarantee that an exasperated Norfolk
woman would not say :
Do you do tha(t) . . . washing-up.
Washed clothes - before tumble-driers, or even outdoor
"roundabouts" on a metal pole - were pegged onto
what was/is known as a washing-line. If at all long,
this required a central, wooden stick with a v-shaped
notch. In Norfolk this is a promp, not a prop; and the
line a "linen-line".
Finally, it should be added that many country folk prefer
yow
to the word you. (A rare Midlands influence??).
6 : The Arcane
Norfolk people are traditionally active, hard-working;
and therefore very fond of the extrovert action-words :
do and go (goo).
On the other hand, only the syntax of the expression
could possibly help the outsider to grasp the additional
meaning of do in - Gi(t) you orff tha(t) gair(t),
do Oi'll come ar(t)er you !. (Note : no f in after).
The said outsider will be quick to point-out that
the threat will only be exercised :- if the culprit does not (don't) get off, rather than
- if he does (do).
This has given rise to the alternative, longer form -Gi(t) you orff tha(t) gair(t), do you dorn(t)
Oi'll come ar(t)er you !
Hence do is now if;
rather than or (was effectively if not).
Got it??.
Continued . . .
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6. (contd.)
Redefining words, in that contextual way, is quite
different from having your own vocabulary -
the usual focus of attention for dialect students
(what's a "dwile", then?) - and much more difficult
to master.
Story N.2 gives an example of the more simple use
of the negative (doon't or dorn't) : more clearly
equivalent to "if not".
English is not without duplication of the verb, e.g.
"It doesn't do to . . ." (see below*).
Such expressions are gleefully used
on a grander scale in Norfolk:-
E do do tha(t) a trea(t), tha(t) E do !
(where do(1) = really, certainly, definitely etc.)
Do you moind woo(t) E do do !.
(Careful what he gets up to !)
Tha(t) in(t) done yi(t)? - do you dur(t), then !!
*Finally :
A fielder allowed the cricket-ball to pass
through his legs (and hands).
An onlooker remarked :-
E 'oon(t) navver do ter keep pigs !
7 : Doings
Active words must often yield tangible results,
even if they are vaguely described.A what's-his-name (woosnairm) can also be a
doings (durns pronounced without the g)
or a do-for (pronounced duefer) :
Giss tha(t) there durns oover there.
(Pass me yonder object).
Tha(t) wan(t) a duefer, tha(t) do.
(It needs a spare-part of some kind). Durns can be a very useful euphemism; failing a
colourful option, e.g. "honey-cart", "lavender-cart", "violet-wagon"
These are all terms for the night-soil collection
vehicle (like lavatory, itself a euphemism !).
Something in need of repair and general attention
wan(t) a good durn-to.
Norfolk shares, with most of the country?, expressions
such as "a right (old) to-do" and "a jolly friendly do".
It might be a chimney in bad condition :
a chimbley, in Norfolk, or a black-stalk.
Repairs might leave some brick-rubble (colder).
A dithering and indecisive person is an
ow'd dardalum-do. [or dardledumdo]. An expert in a particular field is a dabster or
a reemer; but even he/she can meet difficulties
and complications - which are dibles.
Nervous conditions include thredickle
(unsettled, perhaps for the weather too);
pensy (fretful, so not quite the same as
"pensive" - which may be the root).
A lad with special responsibilities to keep the
copper-boiler going (plus odd jobs) is known
as a copper-jack.
8 : Grammar 1
I suppose we must use that posh term for
messing-about (rather, NOT messing-about)
with the declension of verbs.
Norfolk has no truck with plural verbs for
singular persons. If we do, he do.
Put it another way : if he do, conceivably we
(being plural) does --- but definitely not vice-versa.
Hence Norfolk's contribution to easing
the burden of the teaching profession :-
I do, you do, he do, we do, you do, they do.
Any problem with that??
Waiting for somebody : (H)ave E taaned up yi(t)?
We all know that the verb to be is classed as irregular.
Yes, it is. Oo, yis, tha(t) be.
And it can get very much so !.
But the finding of a missing pair of spectacles,
for example, yields a cry of triumph -
Hair they be !!!
Again, the problems are not unique to Norfolk.
Fashionable (Georgian?) Londoners invented the
multi-purpose word "ain't"; which sometimes
does duty for isn't [even am not] and sometimes
for haven't.
I ain't got one is the present tense of the verb
to have, not any past tense of another verb.
Similarly in Norwich :-
(a) Tha(t) tha(t) in(t) for "it definitely isn't" ; or
(b) Tha(t) Oi in(t) answers to -
either "are you cold?" or "have you got any?"
Rural speakers seem to show a clearer
(non-Metropolitan) understanding of what they
are saying; making the supreme effort of
NOT dropping the leading-h :-
- "Are you cold?" - Oi in(t);
- "Have you got any?" - Oi hin(t)
[or hen(t); hearn(t) - short for hevn't]
^Top^
9 : Grammar 0
It is indeed hard to bring oneself to criticise Norfolk
grammar, when standards overall have slipped so badly.
Yes, we say different when we mean differently;
but your old Norfolk farmer
(Hev you spook ter one lair(t)ly?)
would never say 'tha(t) ploughboy, he done great'
- at least Oi hoop no-o-o(t).
Aside from altering the meanings of words,
Norfolk is happy to amend the words themselves;
although I suspect our versions are the earlier,
and actually amended by others . . .
The words before, between and behind have the 'be'
replaced with an 'a', giving : afore, atwin, ahind.
Similarly the letter 'a' replaces 'on' in
on-end (anend) and on-top (atop). Conversely, we add be to the word stow (to store
away, lay-up for the future). As bestow doesn't,
any more, mean "giving to", then I guess more
humble words must suffice . . . Perch becomes perk, as in birds; also as a nickname
for the topmost part of the rood-screen in a church.
Wrap, as in parcel, becomes hap.
For exactly, zackly is considered adequate.
A sharp probing implement, useful in much DIY work,
is a prooger ("mid-u"); derived from proge [hard-g]
rather than probe. (Elsewhere prodger ??).
10 : Tautology
Norfolk speakers, always busy, are not given to
wasting words; their style being normally terse
to the point of surly incomprehension.
Folk free with tongue (or vocabulary) are soon
accused of "running-on": She dorn(t) (h)alf run-on!.
(Ooh, be you quiet !)
Such a talkative person may also be termed a spuffler.
Strange, then, that tautology is not ruthlessly excised;
indeed, particularly in reported speech, it runs riot! :-
She say-a me, she say, "Blast", she say,
"if tha(t) din(t) goo bang, tha(t) tha(t) did!", she say.
There seems to be a special excitement created by the
reciting of conversations : casting all restraints aside.
Blast, he say!. See Story A.
Also it will not have gone unnoticed that all past
conversations are brought into the present (dramatic) tense.
There was a time when Norfolk had never heard of
the word said - so was spared the bother of its bizarre
pronunciation as "sed". Whoolly good!
A vital, but almost inexplicable, example of tautology
occurs with this and that. An obsession with spatial
accuracy may account for the obligatory :
this 'air and tha(t) there.
Where other English speakers start a sentence, simply,
with As (e.g. "As it's raining, we'll stay home"),
the dialect requires Being as - with the 'is' continuing
to be stated (rather than "It being raining . . .").
Being as (phonetically) the 'e' follows the ai-rule,
this gives us :- Bairn uz thass a rairnin'. . .
11 : Test Case
Our vintage phrase Oi'm now a-gorn-a goo
arguably contains TWO tautologies; as against
(simply) "I'm going".
Firstly, we would defend two instances of go
on the following grounds : -
(a) consistency
(e.g. with 'I'm going to polish the floor');
(b) the overwhelming importance of the two
action-words do and go. Secondly :
Logically, the now IS needed, because you might be
declaring an intention to polish the floor tomorrow,
or even next week.
Semantically, the now reflects the urgency
(as well as importance) attached to all forms
of effort (in the East Anglian "do-culture").
Remember, it is that culture which tells its brethren -
Keep you a-troshin!.
Also, often, brevity rules in a busy life . . .
Wal, Oi'm orff.
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